For the teen feeling overlooked or pressured to be "perfect" in their family, this story navigates complex sibling dynamics and finding unexpected connections with unlikely peers.
A parent might reach for this book when their teen feels overlooked or burdened by family responsibilities, especially a teen who is the sibling of a child with high needs. "Are You Alone on Purpose?" tells the story of fourteen-year-old Alison, whose life is defined by the needs of her autistic twin brother, Adam. She feels immense pressure to be perfect and invisible, until the school bully, Harry, makes her a target. After a tragic accident leaves Harry paralyzed, the two form an unlikely and complicated bond, united by their shared loneliness. This book powerfully explores the complex emotions of being a "glass child", the sibling who feels unseen. It's a poignant look at identity, empathy, and the surprising places we find connection, suitable for teens 13 and up.
Bullying and taunting are directed at a character because of her brother's autism.
Moral AmbiguityMild
Explores a teen's 'unlikable' but understandable resentment toward her high-needs sibling.
Sensitive Topics
The book deals directly with disability. Autism is viewed from a sibling's perspective, including raw feelings of anger and frustration alongside love. Physical disability is also a central theme following Harry's accident, with a direct focus on his emotional and physical struggles. Bullying is depicted as cruel and targeted. The narrative is secular, though Harry's Jewish identity is an important part of his character. The resolution is realistic and emotionally resonant, emphasizing connection and understanding over simple solutions.
Ideal Reader
A teen, 13 to 16, who is the sibling of someone with a significant disability or chronic illness and is struggling with feeling invisible, resentful, or guilty. It's also for a teen trying to understand the complexities of empathy, especially toward people who have been unkind.
Parent Prep
Parents should be prepared to discuss the messy, uncomfortable feelings Alison has towards her brother. The book does not shy away from her resentment, which is a key part of her journey. It's beneficial for a parent to read it as well, to be ready for conversations about guilt, family roles, and the validity of these difficult emotions. A parent overhears their child say something like, "Everything is always about them!" or "Why do I have to be the perfect one?" The parent may notice their child withdrawing or acting out due to frustration with complex family dynamics.
Age Experience
A younger teen (13-14) will likely connect most with the school setting, the bullying storyline, and the awkward, developing friendship. An older teen (15-17) is more equipped to appreciate the psychological depth of being a "glass child," the nuances of forgiving a tormentor, and the theme of finding one's identity outside of a prescribed family role.
What Makes It Special
This book's primary strength is its unflinching focus on the sibling's perspective, a voice often marginalized in stories about disability. It gives an honest, non-judgmental platform to the "perfect" child's resentment and pain. The unique relationship that develops between the victim and her former bully, built on shared trauma, is also a highly compelling and unusual dynamic.
Read plot summary
Fourteen-year-old Alison Shandling is the high-achieving twin of Adam, who is autistic. She feels constant pressure from her parents to be the perfect, problem-free child, leading to deep-seated resentment and loneliness. Her life is further complicated by Harry Roth, the rabbi's son, who relentlessly bullies her about Adam. The story's turning point occurs when Harry suffers a serious diving accident that leaves him paralyzed. In the aftermath, Alison and Harry forge a fragile, unexpected connection, discovering they are both profoundly isolated. The narrative follows their journey of understanding each other's hidden pains and secrets.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
Alison often feels that she has to be 'perfect' to balance out the challenges her family faces with Adam. How does this pressure affect her actions and her relationships? Have you ever felt pressure to be a certain way for your family?
2
Before his accident, Harry is cruel to Alison. Why do you think he targets her and her brother? After he is injured, Alison begins to see him differently. Do you think Harry deserved her empathy?
3
The title of the book is 'Are You Alone on Purpose?'. Which characters in the story choose to be alone, and which are alone because of their circumstances? How do these characters' experiences with loneliness differ?
4
Alison's parents are overwhelmed with caring for Adam, and Alison's needs often go unnoticed. What could her parents have done differently? What could Alison have done to better communicate her feelings?
