
A parent should reach for this book when their older child is struggling with the arrival of a new sibling. This story is a gentle and affirming look at the big feelings, like jealousy, anger, and loneliness, that can overwhelm a child when their world is suddenly shared with a new baby. The story follows Ellen and her beloved stuffed animal, Penguin, who feel ignored and left out now that the baby is home. They even act out by hiding the baby's teddy bear. The book beautifully resolves when Ellen's mother acknowledges her feelings and reassures her of her special, permanent place in the family. It’s perfect for preschoolers and early elementary children, providing a safe space to explore and validate their complicated emotions.
The book directly addresses the negative emotions associated with a new sibling: jealousy, anger, and feelings of displacement. The approach is secular and highly empathetic. The resolution is very hopeful and focuses on parental attunement and the reaffirming of the older child's value within the family structure.
Your experience helps other parents find the right book.
Sign in to write a reviewThe ideal reader is a 3 to 6 year old child who has recently become an older sibling and is exhibiting signs of jealousy, emotional regression, or sadness. This book is for the child who feels like their world has been turned upside down and needs to know their feelings are normal and that their parents' love hasn't disappeared.
Parents should be prepared to discuss the scene where Penguin hides the baby's teddy bear. This is a key moment to pause and talk about feelings. A parent can say, "Penguin was feeling very left out, wasn't he? It's okay to feel that way, but what are some better things we can do when we feel that big feeling?" The book is gentle enough to be read cold, but that moment is a prime opportunity for connection. A parent might seek this book after hearing their child say, "I don't like the baby," or seeing them act out in uncharacteristic ways, such as being sullen, defiant, or hiding the new baby's things. It’s for the moment a parent realizes their older child is not adjusting as smoothly as hoped.
A younger child (3-4) will connect with the simple, relatable feelings of being sad when Mommy is busy and will be soothed by the reassuring ending. An older child (5-7) will grasp the more nuanced emotional journey: the concept of projecting feelings onto a toy, the internal conflict of loving family but disliking the situation, and the comforting resolution of finding a new, important role.
What makes this book unique is its brilliant use of the transitional object, Penguin. Penguin voices and acts on the more 'unacceptable' feelings of anger and jealousy, allowing Ellen (and the child reader) a safe psychological distance. This allows the child to explore these emotions without shame. It's less about the practicalities of being a 'big helper' and more about validating the complex inner world of a child being dethroned.
Ellen and her toy, Penguin, are the center of their parents' world until a new baby brother arrives. The baby is noisy, smelly, and takes up all of Mom and Dad's time. Feeling left out and jealous, Ellen and Penguin decide the baby is a 'Bad Baby'. In a moment of frustration, Penguin (acting on Ellen's feelings) hides the new baby's special teddy bear. When the baby is distraught, Ellen's mother intuits what has happened. Instead of scolding, she comforts Ellen, reassuring her of her unique and important place in the family. Ellen then feels ready to welcome her brother, showing him her toys and accepting her new role as a big sister.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.