A parent might reach for this book when their thoughtful teen is feeling disconnected from the family or is beginning to question long-held beliefs, especially faith. In 'Once Was Lost', fifteen-year-old Samara, a pastor's daughter, feels invisible at home. Her father is consumed by his congregation and her mother is lost in a deep depression. When a local girl's disappearance rocks their small town, the community turns to prayer, but Sam finds her own faith faltering. This quiet, character-driven novel is a poignant exploration of loneliness, family dysfunction, and the complex process of forging one's own identity. For teens 13 and up, it’s a gentle, non-judgmental story that validates feelings of doubt and provides a starting point for conversations about belief and belonging.
The book explores religious doubt and flawed adult characters, avoiding simple moral conclusions.
Substance ReferencesMild
There are brief mentions of teens drinking beer at a party.
Sensitive Topics
The book's approach to questioning faith is direct, internal, and respectful. It is a Christian context seen through the eyes of a doubter. The mother's mental illness (depression) is a central, realistic plot point. The missing child storyline is handled directly and its resolution is tragic and realistic, not glossed over. The book's overall resolution is ambiguous: things are not magically fixed, but Sam has begun a journey toward self-definition, which feels hopeful.
Ideal Reader
A teen, 14-17, who feels like an outsider within their own family or a close-knit (especially religious) community. It is perfect for a thoughtful reader grappling with inherited beliefs, parental neglect, or the feeling that no one truly sees them.
Parent Prep
Parents should be prepared for a story that portrays parental figures as deeply flawed and emotionally absent. It is not an indictment, but a realistic depiction that could be difficult to read. The ending of the missing child subplot is sad and definite, and a parent may want to preview the final few chapters to be ready for that conversation. The book can be read cold, as its power is in its quiet realism. A parent hears their teen express cynicism or doubt about the family's faith, saying things like, "I don't know if I believe any of this," or "What's the point?" The parent may also notice a new level of withdrawal or a sense of hopelessness in their child.
Age Experience
A younger teen (13-14) will likely connect with the mystery plot and Sam’s feelings of being misunderstood and lonely. An older teen (15-18) will more deeply appreciate the nuanced exploration of a faith crisis, the critique of performative community grief, and the complex psychological portrait of a family struggling with mental illness.
What Makes It Special
This book's unique power lies in its quiet, internal focus on the process of questioning faith from within a religious environment, without mockery or easy answers. Unlike stories about finding faith, this is a compassionate look at what it feels like to lose it, or to realize it was never truly your own to begin with. The realism of the family's dysfunction is stark and memorable.
Read plot summary
Fifteen-year-old Samara (Sam) is a pastor's kid who feels emotionally abandoned. Her father is dedicated to his flock, and her mother suffers from a debilitating, untreated depression. When a 12-year-old girl from the community goes missing, the town's collective crisis mirrors Sam's internal one. She struggles with her relationship to a faith she no longer feels, navigates a tentative friendship with a boy named Nick, and confronts the quiet brokenness of her own family.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
Sam often feels like a 'ghost in her own life' and observes her family as if from a distance. Why do you think she feels so disconnected, and what specific moments show her trying to reconnect?
2
Sam's father is a pastor, but he struggles to connect with his own daughter's crisis of faith. Do you see him as a hypocrite, or as a flawed person doing his best? Discuss his actions after Jody's disappearance.
3
Near the end, Sam thinks, 'You could be lost and then you could be found. But what if you were never really found?'. What does this mean to her in that moment, in relation to both Jody and herself?
4
Compare Sam's relationship with Nick to her relationship with her parents. In what ways does Nick see her more clearly than her family does, and why is their connection important for her?
