For a young person navigating complex friendships amid family struggles and personal grief, this story explores self-awareness and the impact of one's own choices.
A parent might reach for this book when their child is pushing friends away while navigating a difficult time like grief or family stress. Set in 1970s Harlem, 'The Friends' is the story of Phyllisia, a Trinidadian immigrant whose world is upended by her mother’s illness and her father’s authoritarian rule. She forms a complicated friendship with a poor but loyal girl named Edith, but Phyllisia’s own pride and shame cause her to be cruel and rejecting. This classic novel for ages 10 to 14 unflinchingly explores grief, friendship, family dysfunction, and the painful but necessary process of self-awareness. It's an excellent choice for mature readers ready to tackle a complex character who makes mistakes and must confront the consequences of her own actions.
Deals with profound grief, loneliness, family dysfunction, and emotional cruelty.
ViolenceModerate
The father is physically abusive (slapping his children). Some school fights are described.
Racism & DiscriminationModerate
Explores classism and tensions between West Indian immigrants and African Americans.
Sensitive Topics
The book deals directly with the death of a parent from a long illness. The grief is presented in a raw, secular, and realistic way, often manifesting as anger and cruelty. The father's behavior is emotionally and physically abusive (slapping, harsh punishments), which is a core part of the family dynamic. The book also directly addresses racism, classism, and tensions between West Indian immigrants and African Americans. The resolution is realistic and introspective; Phyllisia achieves self-awareness, but it is a somber awakening, not a neat, happy ending.
Ideal Reader
An emotionally mature reader, aged 11 to 14, who is ready for a character-driven story without easy answers. It's for the child experiencing complex emotions like grief or anger that cause them to lash out or isolate themselves. It will resonate with a young person who feels misunderstood and is struggling with their own identity and pride amidst difficult family circumstances.
Parent Prep
Parents should preview this book for its mature themes. The scenes of Calvin's physical and emotional abuse toward his daughters can be very upsetting. The raw depiction of grief and Phyllisia's often cruel behavior are also key elements to be aware of. A brief conversation about the 1970s Harlem setting and the cultural context of West Indian immigration could be beneficial before reading. The parent has noticed their child becoming sullen, angry, or cruel to friends following a family tragedy or during a period of intense stress. The child might be saying things like, "I don't need anyone," or is pushing away people who are trying to help, and the parent is looking for a story to help their child see themselves and their behavior from another perspective.
Age Experience
A younger reader (10-11) will likely focus on the surface-level story of a difficult friendship. They'll see Phyllisia as mean and Edith as a good friend, learning a lesson about kindness. An older reader (12-14) is better equipped to grasp the deep psychological undertones: how grief manifests as anger, how shame fuels pride, and the complex social dynamics of class and immigration. They will appreciate the novel's introspective and morally complex conclusion.
What Makes It Special
This book is unique for its unflinching portrayal of an unsympathetic protagonist. Unlike many middle-grade novels, Phyllisia is not a victim readers are meant to simply pity. The narrative forces the reader to confront her flaws (her pride, her cruelty) and understand their source. Its power lies in its psychological realism and its focus on internal responsibility, making it a timeless and profoundly impactful coming-of-age story.
Read plot summary
Phyllisia Cathy, a teenager from the West Indies, moves to Harlem with her family. She is immediately confronted with the challenges of a new school, her mother's terminal illness, and her father's tyrannical, patriarchal rule. She develops a friendship with Edith, a poor, unkempt, but fiercely loyal girl. However, Phyllisia's pride and her shame over her family's circumstances cause her to treat Edith with disdain and cruelty. After her mother's death, Phyllisia's grief and anger spiral, culminating in a final, devastating rejection of her only true friend. The novel concludes with Phyllisia's painful realization that her own arrogance, not her external circumstances, was the true cause of her profound loneliness.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
Phyllisia's father, Calvin, is very strict and controlling. How do you think his behavior affects the way Phyllisia acts toward her friend Edith?
2
Edith stays loyal to Phyllisia even when Phyllisia is mean to her. Why do you think Edith keeps trying to be her friend? Would you have done the same?
3
At the end of the book, Phyllisia realizes her own pride was the problem. What specific moments in the story show her pride getting in the way of her friendship?
4
Phyllisia is dealing with her mother's illness and death. In what ways does her grief show up as anger or cruelty towards others?
5
The story is set in Harlem and explores differences between West Indian and African American communities. How does this setting influence the characters' relationships?
