A parent would reach for this book when their child is starting to compare themselves to others and asking big questions about their identity, like "Why am I not as good at sports as my friend?" or "What makes me special?". What Makes You So Special? is a gentle, direct non-fiction guide that walks middle-grade readers through the various ingredients that make them unique: from heredity and family life to feelings, talents, and even limitations. It validates feelings of being different and fosters self-confidence and empathy. It's an excellent choice for a thoughtful child (ages 8-12) because it provides clear language for complex emotions and serves as a wonderful springboard for important family conversations about who they are and who they are becoming.
Mentions potentially sad family situations like parents fighting, but the tone is reassuring.
Sensitive Topics
The book deals directly with sensitive emotional topics such as jealousy, anger, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy. It also mentions potentially difficult home situations like parents fighting, being adopted, or having a disability. The approach is consistently secular, direct, and therapeutic. The goal is to normalize these experiences, not dramatize them. The resolution is not a single event but a process: a hopeful, realistic encouragement of ongoing self-discovery and acceptance.
Ideal Reader
The ideal reader is a thoughtful or anxious child aged 9-11 who is becoming more socially aware and starting to compare themselves to their peers. This child might be struggling with self-esteem or have recently expressed feelings like "I'm not good at anything" or "Why can't I be more like them?". It is also perfect for the intellectually curious child who simply wants to understand the 'why' behind people and personalities.
Parent Prep
The book can be read cold, but it is most effective when a parent is available for discussion. Parents should be prepared for the book to open conversations about family history, their own childhood, and the child's previously unexpressed feelings. Previewing the chapters on family life and feelings can help a parent anticipate their child's questions. A parent might seek this book after hearing their child say something like, "Everyone else is better than me at school," or after noticing their child seems withdrawn or self-critical after spending time with friends.
Age Experience
A younger reader (8-9) will connect with the more concrete concepts: physical traits from family, specific talents, or identifiable feelings. An older reader (10-12) will be able to grasp the more abstract ideas, such as the interplay between nature and nurture, the complexity of emotions, and the philosophical nature of identity. The older reader will use it more for introspection.
What Makes It Special
Unlike metaphorical picture books about being unique, this is a direct, psychological guide for middle-grade readers. Its strength lies in its respectful, intelligent, and therapeutic tone that never talks down to the child. It treats children as capable of understanding the complex forces that shape them, making it a rare and valuable tool for self-discovery. It is an introduction to developmental psychology for kids.
Read plot summary
This is a thematically organized non-fiction book, not a narrative story. Using a warm, direct-address style, author and therapist Eda LeShan guides the child reader through the components of their unique identity. Chapters explore concepts like heredity and ancestors, the influence of one's home environment and family, the role of feelings (even difficult ones), the development of talents and skills, and the importance of relationships. The book uses simple analogies and reassuring language to explain complex psychological concepts.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
The book talks about how our family and ancestors are part of what makes us special. Besides how you look, can you think of a personality trait or a talent you might share with someone in our family?
2
Eda LeShan writes that all feelings are okay, even ones we think of as 'bad' like anger or jealousy. Why do you think she says it's important to pay attention to those feelings?
3
After reading about all the different ingredients that make up a person, what are two or three things you feel are the most special and unique about you?
4
The author suggests we can't be good at everything. Was there a time you felt frustrated trying something new? How does this book make you think differently about that experience?
