For the child grappling with hurtful words, this story, inspired by Desmond Tutu's youth, offers a gentle lesson in forgiveness and responding with love.
A parent would reach for this book when their child has been hurt by mean words and is struggling with feelings of anger and sadness. Inspired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s own childhood in South Africa, the story follows young Desmond after a group of boys shout a 'very mean word' at him, spoiling the joy of his new bicycle. The book gently walks the reader through Desmond's journey from shock and anger to a profound understanding of forgiveness, guided by the wisdom of Father Trevor. It masterfully normalizes the pain of being bullied while offering a powerful, accessible model for choosing compassion over retaliation, making it an invaluable tool for children aged 4 to 8.
The book addresses bullying and the pain of hurtful language directly. The specific "mean word" is never stated, making it universally relatable to any hurtful name-calling. The approach to resolution is explicitly religious (Christian), with a priest guiding the protagonist toward forgiveness through spiritual wisdom. The resolution is hopeful and empowering for the child who has been hurt, focusing on internal healing rather than external confrontation.
Ideal Reader
A sensitive 5 to 7 year old who has recently been the target of name-calling or social exclusion. This child is wrestling with big feelings of anger and injustice and may be considering retaliation. The book is also excellent for a child in a family or school environment where forgiveness is a valued, but perhaps abstract, concept.
Parent Prep
The book can be read cold, but parents should be prepared to discuss the concept of forgiveness. The guidance comes from a priest, Father Trevor. For non-religious families, a parent might want to frame his advice as coming from a wise, trusted community elder. The core message about forgiveness as a self-healing act is universal. A parent hears their child say, "They called me a mean name and I hate them," or sees their child withdraw or act out in anger after a negative social interaction. The child seems stuck, replaying the hurtful moment and unable to move past the anger.
Age Experience
A younger child (4-5) will grasp the basic message: words can hurt, and it's better to find a kind way to feel better. An older child (6-8) will better understand the more complex emotional journey: the desire for revenge, the distinction between anger and hurt, and the abstract concept of forgiveness as a tool for one's own well being.
What Makes It Special
Unlike many anti-bullying books that focus on standing up to the bully or telling an adult, this story focuses on the internal work of healing. Its uniqueness lies in framing forgiveness not as condoning bad behavior, but as a radical act of self-care and empowerment to reclaim one's own peace. The gentle, faith-based perspective is also a distinguishing feature.
Read plot summary
Young Desmond is filled with joy over his new red bicycle. While riding through town, a group of boys shout a hurtful, unspecified word at him. The word stings, making him feel small, angry, and wanting to retaliate. He seeks advice from the wise and kind Father Trevor, who explains that holding onto anger only hurts himself. Father Trevor teaches Desmond about forgiveness, not as an act for the other boys, but as a gift to himself to release the pain. Through this guidance, Desmond practices forgiveness and finds his own peace.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
When the boys shouted the mean word, Desmond felt 'small and cold inside.' Have you ever felt that way after someone said something unkind?
2
Father Trevor told Desmond that forgiving is a way to 'set yourself free.' What do you think he meant by that? How did forgiving the boys help Desmond?
3
At first, Desmond wanted to shout a mean word back at the boys. Why did he change his mind? What do you think might have happened if he had shouted back?
4
Desmond practiced forgiving by whispering the boys' names. What are some other ways we can practice letting go of our anger when someone hurts our feelings?
